01 Oct After The Ever After
“…and they all lived happily ever after”. Yes we’ve herd this phrase time and time again. But have you ever wondered what happened after they rode off into the sunset? Where were they going? Did they have to stop and ask for directions? Who payed that ridiculous wedding bill (we all know the cake alone is outrageously priced)?
It is great that these leading ladies found true love, but who had kids? Who went into couples counselling? And who takes out the trash when it’s full? Disney left us with a lot of unanswered questions, so I am here to fill in the gaps, and give you updates on what some of our favourite childhood princesses are doing now.
Snow White And The House Chores
Cleaning seemed so easy in that small cottage out in the woods. But then again it is always easier when you can convince an entire forest of enchanted animals to do the dishes for you. Now she fights with her prince over who’s turn it is to unload the dishwasher and can’t understand why he never puts the toilet seat down.
Cinderella Is Still Losing Shoes
Once the glass slipper was matched to this princess we all thought it would be carefree days in beautiful dresses and designer high heels. But after having a few kids, this princess quickly traded in her Louboutins for Sketchers.
We all know that many kids equals many shoes, and now that her littles need running shoes, ballet slippers, soccer cleats, beach sandals, and snow boots, Cinderella can never find a matching pair. This princess is always the late mom for school drop off, because after she finally finds the second school shoe she is forced to sit for the next 10 minutes while her toddler demands to tie her own laces.
Ariel Stretching Out Those Sea Legs
Ariel realized that she shouldn’t have to change who she is for someone to love her, but she also realized that she liked dry land, and fancy pedicures, so she never went back to the ocean. After she dumped Prince Eric she took up yoga as a way to unwind and stretch out her new legs.
Belle Worries About Fine Lines And Grey Hairs
Belle stayed with the beast for a while, but with the growing complaints of unsafe working conditions and low pay from the castle servants, she left him and took all his servants with her. Now she runs a successful cosmetics line that does not test on animals, and prides itself on employing her staff with a living wage and full benefits.
Sleeping Beauty Now Loses Sleep With A Newborn
Even Sleeping Beauty can’t get a full nights sleep these days. With a newborn on her hip, she generally wakes up 2-4 times a night for late night feeds, and diaper changes.
Elsa’s Eating For Two
Elsa never found true love, however she did find a one night stand that left her with pregnancy cravings and major heart burn. She is excited to announce that she is having a little girl, and that Ana and Christof are moving back into the castle to help her raise the baby.
Forget Tea Parties, Alice Is All About The Coffee
Alice isn’t in Wonderland anymore… instead she is in a tiny little apartment in the heart of the Big Apple. She still loves tea parties, but has switched to coffee to keep her up when she needs to work late at the office.
When she comes home at night, her Cheshire cat is waiting to greet her. Together they sit and play solitaire while watching re-runs of old black and white Hollywood movies.
Rapunzel Is Mastering Sunday Morning Pancakes
Frying Pans! Who knew right? Rapunzel is nestled in a cozy little bungalow in the suburbs. After having kids, she decided to open up her own daycare, and now spends her days reading children’s books, and loves the sounds of laughter and giggles that fill her house. Every Sunday morning she tries out new pancakes recipes for her family, but she is yet to make a breakfast that she hasn’t completely burned.
Happily Ever After?
Is happily ever after even real? Can you actually ride off into the sunset with no worries for the rest of your life? Of course not. Real life is messy, confusing, and complicated.
As we get older, we speed through life remembering these fairy tales as false hopes of our future, but truth is, if you met these princesses on the other side of that sunset you would realize that happily ever after never meant no more worries. It meant building empires, changing dirty diapers, and finding happiness in that complicated and confusing world that we call real life. What does your Happily Ever After look like?
If you enjoyed these princess updates and want to see more hilarious parodies of ‘mom life’, then be sure to join me on my daily Instagram adventures where I talk about the good, the bad, and the hilarious when it comes to parenting. Modern Day Wonderland Instagram.