21 Jan The Official Mom Uniform
Ahhh the glamorous life of moms. We party all day and stay up all night, living off of goldfish crumbs and cold coffee. Do we follow the seasons latest trends? Of course not, we are this seasons latest trend. We like our pants stretchy, our t-shirts comfy, and our purses water proof.
Want to know more about our timeless style? Let me break it down for you:
Messy Bun– This isn’t the messy bun that you find youtube tutorials for, this is the quick and dirty style, tossed it up in such a way that say’ I cared at one point, but right now I just want to get this out of my face before a child streaks peanut butter through it’.
Coffee– Oh sweet nectar of life, is there anything mamas love more than wrapping their hands around a steaming hot cup of coffee? Yes, we love actually getting to drink it, but in reality it gets brewed then sits there getting cold while we struggle to get pants on our kids, and breakfast on the table.
Diapers and Tiny Human Clothes– If you are a mom, chances are you have diapers scattered all around your house along with the clothes that your kids outgrew two years ago. Let’s just hope the stock pile in your car is fresh, and you don’t open the door one warm summer day to the strong aroma of a missing dirty diaper. I speak from experience ladies, NEVER forget about a dirty diaper.
Stuffies and Books– What is with kids and their obsessions with stuffies? Anytime a plush animal comes into eyesight they must hug it, love it, then drag it though the mud. Books are no different. Sorry Dr. Suess, but these days we find you more useful as stepping stones over hot lava, than finding out if we will ever enjoy Green Eggs and Ham.
Snacks- No mom in her right mind would ever think of leaving the house without snacks. I have back up snacks for my backup snacks. This is our power, our secret weapon, and sometimes our supper.
The Diaper Bag- Or as it’s more accurately called, the carrier of all crap. This includes, but is not limited to- diapers, wet wipes, gold fish, real fish, legos, lost car keys, lost earrings, lost treasure, paw patrol figurines, juice boxes, and of course crumbs, so many crumbs.
Mom Culture T-Shirt – Cozy soft t-shirts, preferably with something announcing to the world that you are a tired mom, awesome mom, soccer mom, etc.
Mysterious Stain- This is not something just found on your pants. It can also be on your shirt, in your coat, and sometimes as a special surprise in your shoes. Wherever it is, there is a 50/50 chance it is something gross that came out of a small human.
There you have it ladies. This seasons hottest trend, The Mom Uniform. Did I miss anything? What essentials do you make sure you never leave home without?
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