Dear Peanut, aka little alien growing inside of me,
This week marks the halfway point of my pregnancy, and it feels like time is flying by faster than I am able to keep up. With the first pregnancy I would sit around waiting for a kick, embracing the heartburn and nausea. This time around I sometimes forget your in there, until you give me a little nudge saying, ‘don’t forget about me’.
The truth is that I already feel guilty. Most of your life you will be wearing hand me downs, and playing with toys that have lost their shine. There will not be as much one on one time, and I gave up on handmade organic meals months ago.
I can’t promise you a clean house, or that I will be able to get all of those cracker crumbs out of your soon to be car seat (your sister loves goldfish). But, my sweet little one, this is what I can promise you- you are going to be born into a house of love. I spend my days focused on your sister, trying to keep her out of the cat food, and from using crayons on the walls, but I spend the nights dreaming of a fuller house, and what life will be like with another little human to love.
When your dad and I first saw you on the ultrasound screen you took our breath away. You were just a little blob, but you were our little blob, growing bigger and stronger everyday. Our eyes filled with tears, and we started to yearn for that moment when we could finally meet you, and hold you in our arms.
When I see your sister outgrow her PJ’s and sleep sacks, a part of me aches thinking of how fast she is growing up, and no longer my little baby. Then I start glowing, imagining how much you are going to like the PJ’s with the fuzzy bunnies on the feet.
Yes, you are baby number two, but all that means is that we have been waiting longer for you. Your big sister is practicing with her dolls everyday, learning how to feed you, and give you lots of kisses. She is going to teach you how to crawl, how to walk, and how to hide broccoli in the plants. She is going to teach you how to give hugs, and teach you the special smile that makes your dad melt. She knows just how to get extra goldfish, and bedtime stories out of him.
What I am trying to say to you little peanut, is that we are so excited to meet you . Even though the laundry isn’t folded, and the dishes are dirty, we promise that the hugs are warm, the kisses are plentiful, and you my dear are loved. XO-