This House Needs an HR Department

To the HR Department of this house,

I am writing this letter to lodge a formal complaint, as I feel that I am working in what is becoming a hostile environment. There have been a series of incidents that concern me regarding a co-worker and I feel it must be brought to your attention.

When I agreed to this contract I was under the impression that this house would be ran as a team. However one person in particular has taken it upon herself to call the shots. Avery came on board with us 16 months ago, and in that time has evolved into, how do I put this nicely…a tyrant!

When she arrived, she was lovely and sweet, however I feel that over time she has started to treat me different than others. First, I thought that she was being tough on everyone, but with the recent influx of working partners coming in, I see that she favours the grandparents, aunts, and neighbours, giving them special treatment over me.

With this favouritism I am also concerned that Avery is sharing classified documents that were provided by our client Dr. Seuss. I have seen Avery in hallways talking secretively with Grandma, and passing her what I am certain is the Seuss files. I respect Grandma, however I am pretty sure she hasn’t gone through the proper background checks that give her clearance to these files. I am concerned that Avery has leaked files pertaining to what the bed of a Jed is made out of, and who is alsleep out in Foona Lagoona. But there’s more…

One of my duties within this team is to cook the meals to nourish the rest of the staff. However, I have noticed that the food being cooked is not being consumed as it was before. Snack time has now become a mission to hide banana between couch cushions, crackers in nearby plants, and I’m pretty sure I just wiped peanut butter off of a hanging light fixture. While I have great respect for this team, I would appreciate HR looking into this employee and address these incidents accordingly.

Thank you,


P.S. If you could also extend nap time, that would be much appreciated.

If you enjoyed this article, then be sure to check out Morning Dance Party, and The Second Time Around.





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